Lyrics
Key Lime
One terrible, glowing-green key lime pie, and a man too proud to throw it out.
Verse 1
We were rollin’ out of the Keys with Miami up ahead,
When Carl spotted the sign and quickly turned his head.
He came back with a pie so green it lit up the whole car,
We weren’t sure if it was food, or some radioactive tar.
Verse 2
He cut the first slice that night and passed it down the line,
It only took one bite, and we knew he’d lost his mind.
Scott said, “That’s terrible, it could strip paint off the wall,”
Carl took another bite and said, “It ain’t that bad at all.”
Chorus
Oh, Key Lime, Key Lime, glowing like a neon sign,
Carl said, “You can laugh all day, but this here pie is fine.”
We told him, “Dad, just throw it out, there’s no shame in defeat,”
But he cut himself another slice and sat back down to eat.
Verse 3
Next morning there it was on the fridge, still glowing green,
The worst-looking key lime pie the world had ever seen.
Dianne said, “Throw that thing away before it learns to walk,”
But he grabbed himself another slice and never stopped his talk.
Verse 4
By Tuesday there was half a pie, and by Wednesday there was less,
Every bite looked harder, though he’d never once confess.
We watched him chew in silence keepin’ that determined grin,
That pie had picked a fight with Carl… and Carl was gonna win.
Chorus
Oh, Key Lime, Key Lime, glowing like a neon sign,
Carl said, “You can laugh all day, but this here pie is fine.”
We told him, “Dad, just throw it out, there’s no shame in defeat,”
But he cut himself another slice and sat back down to eat.
Bridge
Now pride can make a cowboy ride through wind and driving rain,
Pride can make a stubborn man ignore a little pain.
But nothing shows conviction like a pie you know is bad,
And eating every single bite to prove the best he ever had.
Verse 5
By Friday just one lonely slice was sitting on the plate,
We gathered ’round to watch him meet his green and glowing fate.
He finished every crumb of it, then leaned back with a grin,
Like a man who knew that somehow he had totally won again.
Final Chorus
Oh, Key Lime, Key Lime, glowing like a sign,
For five long days Carl kept tellin' us, “That pie sure is fine.”
We knew he hated every bite, he knew we knew the crime,
But ninety years of Carl says: never throw away Key Lime.
Outro
So if you buy a bad one, friends, there’s one thing you should know,
You can own up to your mistake… or never let it show.
Carl chose the harder road and ate it one slice at a time,
And that’s how family legends grow…
one terrible Key Lime.